#uselessmonsters

Right then. A few days ago Jimmy Misanthrope started making up useless monsters on his twitter, with the hashtag #uselessmonsters. This was primarily just for the sheer hell of it, but also it was a reaction to the usual boring and stupid things* that end up being hashtagged to the point of ending up in twitter's "trending topics". Things such as Bad Romance, #rihannasforehead, Zenyatta, Jedward, all of which I've just this moment culled from twitter's current trending topics.
For those who are unfamiliar with twitter, adding a hashtag to a word or phrase will automatically add that hashtagged word/phrase to a list automatically generated by twitter that includes all the examples of that word/phrase that have been hashtagged and tweeted.
*Boring and stupid topics, as a great deal of people are themselves boring and stupid, yes?

Twitter hashtags are yet another odious example of humankind's innate herd mentality. Something that is ripe for people like me to take the piss out of then. But whatever. This post is about a hashtag subject that started with "werepotato" and fairly rapidly expanded to include all sorts of wondrously creative examples of sheer silliness. Some were awesome, some were facetious, some were just plain stupid. And some my friends were utterly, utterly useless. In keeping with the spirit of the thing in other words.
Listed below are all the twitter entries (and the people who tweeted them) that came with the hashtag #uselessmonsters that actually listed a useless monster and weren't just replies or reactions to the topic itself. They are listed in the order from the first person who started tweeting useless monsters to the last person who did.


@JimmyMiz Werepotato. One headed hydra. Perma-stone gargoyle. Subterranean drop bear. Bonsai ogre. Toothpaste golem. Tropical yeti. Aquatic satyr. Single animal chimera. Eyeless cyclops. Beached sea serpent. ChickenGriffin. Eunuch incubus. Highly inflammable dragon.

@BloodyWilliam Spotted elephant. Charlie-in-the-box. Wingless harpy. Vegetarian vampire. Half man half house cat. Homicidal minnow. Tone deaf siren. Banshee with laryngitis.

@Starlogic Blind Medusa. Dissolving zombies. Butter octopus. Mute siren. Shaved mammoth.

@icypop Were-ladybirds.

@Bryn_Colvin Pretty much any Disney cartoon monster. The Black Cauldron is especially bad, ruined a good book that. The basalicks.


@Dagger_Arcana A one winged, bubble breathing dragon. Cerberus, the foofy poodle guardian of Hell. A blind basilisk. A blind cockatrice. A mute banshee. Paraplegic mummy.

@Tom_AIAC Brittany Spears. Flava Flav, yeeeeah boy! The Toxic Meanderer.

@scatmanfan Vanilla Ice.

@LaBarceloneta The Adorable Snowman. Cerberus after a bizarre dumbwaiter accident. Baronet Kong. Cthulu's Friend, Skippy the Huggable Lil' Bunny. Frankenstein's Mopper. The Appendix-less Horseman. The Chupacabriolet. Jack the Inadequate-Tipper. The Minotard. Were-Wolfgang Puck. Swamp Thingy. Vampire Hugger D. Dorcs. Medouchea.


@3horn Frankenstump.

@defconqueso Indifference Squid.

@mkmiddleton Were-Wolf Blitzer. Larry King Kong. iPodzilla.


@joangeluk In far off transylvania there lives a vampire duck. It's not his bite, that turns you white, but a very nasty suck. Were-Wolf Blass. Codzilla. Dr Jekyll and Dr Jekyll.

@whateversusan Gameramen.

@Jenksy The unundead. A mere wolf.

And last, but certainly not least:

@essjayess Talos made of jellybeans #harryhausenFTW #godIwishtherewasoneofthese

So there you go folks. An example of the avalanche of odd that one little werepotato is capable of creating. Notice that there was not one single mention of sphinxes. That is because nobody fucks with The Sphynx, OK?

The Sphynx © Winston Rowntree

☺ Chloé