Kiwi!

Kiwi (kē'wē, pronounced [kiːwiː], "kee-wee").
The kiwi bird. Flightless, small, ancient. Endemic to and national symbol of New Zealand. And sadly, due to various factors such as introduced predators and the increasing loss of their natural habitat due to human activity, on the endangered species list.
I was born and raised in New Zealand and I've only seen a kiwi in the flesh once. In a zoo. Mind you I don't tend to spend any time in the sorts of places one might come across a kiwi in the wild. I have a great deal of affection for the ol' kiwi bird. It was walking about in New Zealand for far, far longer than any of my species have been.
Here are a few facts about the kiwi:

• The kiwi is the smallest member of the family of birds called ratites. This group includes some of the worlds biggest birds like the emu, ostrich, as well the extinct moa and the elephant birds of Madagascar.
• Kiwi cannot fly (I assume the great majority of you already knew that), and lives in burrows on the ground. Like all ratites they have no keel on the breastbone to anchor wing muscles, and barely any wings.
• They have a highly developed sense of smell, unusual in a bird, and are the only birds with nostrils at the end of their long beak.
• They're about the size of a chicken and live in pairs. They weigh from 2 3/4 to 9 pounds (1.25 to 4 kg). Once bonded, a male and female kiwi tend to live their entire lives as a monogamous couple.
• Kiwi eggs can weigh up to one quarter the weight of the female. The kiwi lays the biggest egg in proportion to its size of any bird in the world, roughly six times the size of that of a domestic chicken egg.
• The kiwi has a life span of up to 40 years.
• They're predominantly nocturnal, but in areas that are protected from predation they're quite often seen about in the daytime.
• They are featured on the New Zealand one dollar coin.
• Kiwi eat small invertebrates, seeds, grubs, and many varieties of worms. They also may eat fruit, small crayfish, eels and amphibians.
• There are five accepted species of kiwi (one of which has four sub-species), plus one to be formally described. The five accepted species are the Great Spotted Kiwi (or Roroa), the Little Spotted Kiwi, the Okarito Brown Kiwi (or Rowi), the Tokoeka and the North Island Brown Kiwi.
• The plural of kiwi is kiwi, not kiwis. Just so you know I'm not making any kiwi typos in this article.


The kiwi bird is a New Zealand cultural constitution. To the extent that the colloquial name for New Zealanders is "kiwi". When referring to New Zealand people as kiwis the s is used for the plural.
Back in the day before New Zealand television channels broadcast 24 hours a day, the clip below was played every night just prior to the end of the day's broadcast. Its ingrained in my childhood memory as deeply as Santa Claus.



D'awww, wasn't that lovely? This animation was played on Television One and Television Two between 1981 and 1994, with its last screening on October 19, 1994. I guess the kiwi and cat slept elsewhere on rainy nights. Its a fine example of humankind's proclivity to gloss over the realities of life with cutsieness. In reality of course, that cat would have eaten that kiwi the fuck up. Surely I was not the only child to have grown up with that particular thought in my mind about that animation.

Go to any tourist shop in New Zealand and you're guaranteed to find the kiwi's likeness plastered over all sorts of things, Tshirts, postcards, buttons, kiwi plushies of various sizes and so on. Its image is all over New Zealand really, from business logos to anti-littering signs to coats of arms and all manner of artwork.


One other thing I've noticed about the kiwi over the years is that it has a funny sort of pull on people. It tends to crop up now and then in some pretty random instances, not just in New Zealand but internationally. Like this drawing by a certain California based cartoonist for instance.

And it is with that in mind that I'd like to present these two animations. The first one is by this fellow here. At the time of writing its had 23,773,920 views. Wow I say, wow:


Pretty poignant huh?


And then.. then there's this fucked up thing:


Heeee hee hee that wee kiwi he so hyper. There are 3 seasons worth of these 4 minute animations. A kiwi in an animated Italian cooking show.
Fucking.
Random.

Hopefully you've enjoyed this brief write-up on the kiwi, a critter that is really quite dear to my heart.


And with that, I shall leave the final word to the kiwi itself.
You uhh, might wanna turn your speakers down a bit prior to clicking that link.
Chloé